Hey from Japan- or wherever the moving van arrives- Emily Cannell

My opinion only- you write a marketing plan/business plan/military strategy. All the components to moving are the same.

1) Analysis

2) Strategy

3) Plan

4) Tactics

5) Measure

All good plans are dependent upon a comprehensive analysis of the terrain, market conditions and of the indigenous inhabitants. Therefore, my research starts with maps, guide books, subway maps, internet searches and a list of all the likes and dislikes of offspring 1, offspring 2 and spouse. This phase is critical in order for navigation upon deployment. As an example, in Japan, an address looks like this:

1-12-3 Roppongi Hills

Minotu-ku, Tokyo, 005-0052 Japan

In the US, the 1-12-3 Roppongi Hills refers to a street address, the Minotu Ku the town, Tokyo the city, Japan the country. Here, however, this address gets you nowhere close to where this location might actually be…. The 1 refers to the ward within Tokyo in which this particular place is located. The 12 refers to the city block on which it is located and the 3 refers to the building number. None of these numbers are on a map nor are they on a building. This makes it virtually impossible to find anything by the address. Instead, all businesses, business cards etc have a map which identifies exactly where the establishment is located.

Strategy:  What is your strategy for what you want to accomplish? I have a short term strategy and a long term strategy. Short term: For me- brainwashing kids into loving Japan. Forget the US. Strategy is simple and straightforward- immersion in all things Japanese that are FUN. Elimination of all things that are cultural and educational. I’ll leave that for the school to handle. Long term: We actually have to get moved in to an apartment. Our long term lease starts Sept 7th. I have no strategy for that. I’ll wing it.

Plan: I’ve always fallen down on the plan part. It’s why I was a weak marketer and a strong sales guy. I went straight to the tactics. I always got a good bonus- so why should I bother with a plan here?

Tactics: Teach the kids how to ride the subway by themselves. Visit Yomuirland, Tokyo Disney, Indoor Snowboarding Park- Snovu, Eat at every hole in the wall noodle place we can find, teach the kids that every time we have success it’s a good day.

Measure: I must model patience and humor to the kids. I am illiterate in Japan. I can’t look up the words in a dictionary because I can’t read the characters. The words sound like one long sentence. Every task is daunting. Where is the grocery store and what is in it? The kids watch my every move to see how I react. I smile and laugh when I feel like crying so they know it’s ok, we are safe, we are a family, Japan is made of families, we will learn and we will settle in. Damn it. We will never be hungry again. Oh I got carried away sorry…

Original Post via Email July 2010:

According to the Japanese authorities, our dear 4 year old guinea pig, Truffles, male, failed a critical immigration test. We of course know of this test and tried to pass Truffles off as a small dog- one of the lesser known Asian species of dog. The Japanese authorities gave Truffles the acid test- the leash test. When the leash was put on Truffles neck area, he of course failed the test because rodents have no neck. He was immediately identified as a fraud, labeled a “rodent” and stamped “reject” along with all amphibians and reptiles. 
This leaves us in the predicament of trying to find him a temporary home for the next 2 years- maybe longer….

Resolution

Although skeptical of saintly intervention, as a faithful Catholic I felt heavenly intervention on Truffles behalf would certainly be helpful. Having taught CCD for three years, I had several targets in mind. I sent out an email, called every teacher I’d ever met and dozens of friends and acquaintances, and of course offered yearly stipend -a bribe . I’m happy to report that St. Francis of Assisi produced 3 viable candidates. My Catholic friends avoided the crooked finger of the patron saint of animals- by a narrow margin- in favor of a wonderful Jewish family. Truffles now gets oranges daily on the lap of a caring 2nd grader who reads Harry Potter to him out loud. Not only did Truffles get a good home, he traded up. I’m rethinking my current stance on saints.