Forgive me blog friends, it`s been three moves and two countries since my last post. Those of you who hang around me know I like to use pictures to illustrate my evocative ideas, however, I can`t find any because they are hidden on a phone that no longer works in the US. (The nice folks at the Genius Bar told me the sure-fire fix was to charge the phone) So I`ll pick up where I last left off next time.
Yes, the Clampitts have a moving schedule that makes military families quake in fear. And there are a few stories along the way that I`ll only tell my closest friends- and you.
Suffice it to say, I feel that I am a Master Mover. If I had a job, I`d list it as one of my core competencies. I can move myself, I can tell others how to move, I can organize all stuff (the few things left that haven`t been broken) and I can evade the tax authorities in several countries at one time. (JK on that- we pay our taxes but run from our gambling debt)
One of the most important components of moving is to maintain an accurate file of medical and dental records. This ensures that there are actual dental records to use for identification or to prove to your child that the gap between their teeth came back after they stopped wearing the retainer as prescribed. My file for each person is legal sized, expandable, and fire proof. I`m proud of my records. They contain every piece of irrelevant medical minutia related to my children and since I never got around to making baby books for the Offspring, will be their record of my love. After all, there are pics included in those records- X-rays of their skulls from the panoramic dental view to the pre and post braces close-ups. I`ll have them bound at the local Kinkos when they leave for college.
I felt pretty smug when I waltzed into the latest dentist office with files and x-rays in color coded files. Assured I had gained a spot in the “Best Practices of our Model Patients” I handed over the treasure trove that is my rich dental history.
“Oh Ouiser-san, we are so happy to have you. We`ll take a quick look at the latest x-rays and call you back in just a minute.”
I sat down in the waiting room confident in my lack of plaque build up. The hygienist was so efficient I didn`t have time to get past the “Chatter” page in the current People magazine before she emerged from the back my file in hand.
“Umm, Mrs Clampitt,” she hesitated as she leaned way to close to my face for comfort, ” these films are of your latest mammogram.”
Definitely not my teeth.
I`m not as good as I thought.
Hey from Japan- or wherever the moving van arrives- Emily Cannell 
Where the hell have you been and where are you now?. I
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Hey Jules! In PA now and on our way to California- woohoo!!!
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So proud! LOL!
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You would’ve laughed the hardest! I’m laughing just thinking about it!
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LOL So nice to have you back!
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Hey Linda! Thanks for the encouraging words! See if I can squeeze out a few more funnies soon!
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You should stop by an AOC practice before you jet off to CA. We miss you!!!
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Hey Sharin! Can you believe no track kids for me this year? Football and club volleyball – I’ll stop by and say hello one night! Great to hear from you!
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You have me roaring again!!!! Told the RTC about y’alls great news and gave hugs to Sunoko, Mokoto from you! Love you dearly!
Heidi
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I’m so jealous! How long are you visiting? I sure miss our friends there! But nowhere else.(haha)
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Enjoyed this!! Thanks for sharing. So jealous of the CA trip. Anna is having an amazing time. Going to be tough week getting back to reality.
Teá
>
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I know! Hope y’all are too!
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LOL! Miss you so much!
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You know I laughed as hard as everyone else! Miss you too! Tell hubby hi!
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Hehehe! And the reverse? Providing dental records to compare with your latest mammogram??
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Can you imagine the convo between the hygienists?” Hmmm those must be strange Asian films- lets try sideways- you know what these look like? AHHHHHHHH”
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Groan! I can’t stop giggling!
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What a nice surprise to hear from you again. Three moves since Canada? Wow!
Makes my head spin. Looking forward to hearing more about your escapades!
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Hey TarBuns! Yes- it`s the reason I haven`t been blogging. Just filling out school applications for the last two years.
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how lovely to ‘hear your voice’ again:) I’ve been hoping you would be back blogging one day. And what a way to begin!
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Hey Sweffling! Great to hEAR your voice! Hope all is well. I’ll be wandering over now that I’m hauling my lazy self back in to the saddle!
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So glad to see this post from you! The thought of three moves in two years makes me want to take a nap immediately.
Did I read in comments that you’re off to sunny Calif now?
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Hey J! Yep- off the California. Which is quite a culture on its own! Honestly, moving again makes me feel like doing something more mind altering and longer lasting than a nap. Sheesh
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Your back! Wonderful. Taking X-rays of your breasts to the dentist for a check up of your teeth is a bit weird, but perhaps now that will all change now you have “blown away the cobwebs” as it were. I have enjoyed reading about your adventures over the past few years. Keep it up.
Paul.
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Hey Paul! Thanks so much for the kind words. The nice thing about posting after so long is that I’m hearing from all my blog buddies! Talk soon!
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Lovely to hear from you! If you try Canada again, go west coast instead of east! Mammogram files at the dentist’s office will be taken in stride…
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Emily, you’re like a siren, memorizing and fleeting! I barely, barely, so very barely knew you and yet I miss you, this is no joke!…. BUT on the flip side, thank you for the inspirational lifestyle that you lead, reminding us all to “smell the roses” 😀
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Hey Eve! Thanks so much for taking such good care of our doggies! And yes- we do have a moving problem!!!!
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