Every now and again I find signs which must be shared. These are necessary in order for you and your loved ones to remain safe and healthy while visiting Japan and perhaps other places in the neighborhood. Please study diligently as this may be the only explanation you receive.
Sign Location- The Great Wall of China. WARNING. This sign is X Rated.
Luckily we didn`t run across any naked flames while hiking the Great Wall. I warned Offspring #2 that should we see any naked flames I would be forced to cover her eyes quickly and without warning lest they burn her eyes.
Truth in Advertising. The population with the highest number of octogenarians is in Okinawa. It`s not due to green tea, exercise, diet or any of the other factors recently highlighted in longevity studies. It`s the condition referred to as “Wild Health” produced by consuming Coke Zero. Drink lots of it while you`re here.
Bottoms Up! Here`s looking at you kid.
Railroad Crossing Safety- There have been far too many accidents involving people walking bears and cats across the railroad tracks. STOP when the railroad crossing signal starts! And please make sure your bear and cat are in a proper sit for safety.
(I`d also recommend moving the teenagers from diapers to big kid pants)
Toilet Etiquette– The information desk at the Kyoto train station has been overwhelmed with questions regarding toilet technique. In order to free the personnel up to answer inquiries related to bus schedules and geisha sitings, these were installed in all stalls.
Now you know.
This is not for drinking.
Put the lid up.
Sit up Straight.
Eyes face forward.
Feet flat on the ground.
Some of you who`ve read previous posts know that the toilets here make “Flushing Noises” to cover up embarrassing sounds. Push the button, fake flushing ensues, and neighbors don`t get the opportunity to snicker at any echoing repercussions from the previous night`s dinner.
But what about the situation where you just need a cozy spot to curl up and read a good book? Fashionable ladies like the one above sometimes take the opportunity to simply sit and read on the toilet. Have you ever been in your own public bathroom reading nook only to have a critical plot twist disturbed by a thunderous fart from next door?
Problem solved. Just press the button! It`s like white noise. Flushing noise drowns out all unwanted distractions.
Next up- Cooking internationally.