Truffles- I got this and like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes. This is a speech given by Dr. Silvermug, one of the new mom’s to Truffles, in a speech given to a group of 70 High Schoolers of whom she is responsible for mentoring, fostering or providing coaching on a daily and as needed basis from grade 9 through graduation. Thank you Dr. Silvermug…

The message – sent from a friend who was moving to Japan – was as follows:

**** Truffles Fails Immigration Test****

“Hi all- You’re receiving this email because you have access to a classroom with guinea pigs, know someone with a classroom with guinea pigs, are a lover of guinea pigs, are a lover of animals, or may know someone who would be willing to baby sit a guinea pig for the next two years. (According to one of your closest friends- or enemies)

According to the Japanese authorities, our dear 4 year old guinea pig, Truffles, male, failed a critical immigration test. We of course know of this test and tried to pass Truffles off as a small dog- one of the lesser known Asian species of dog. The Japanese authorities gave Truffles the acid test- the leash test. When the leash was put on Truffles neck area, he of course failed the test because rodents have no neck. He was immediately identified as a fraud, labeled a “rodent” and stamped “reject” along with all amphibians and reptiles.

This leaves us in the predicament of trying to find him a temporary home for the next 2 years- maybe longer. Probably not. He’s already 4 and the life span of a guinea pig is usually no longer than 6 or 7. Either way, I will provide food, hay, and bedding (several bags- at least 6 months worth) along with his play fence, carrier, and cage.

Truffles is nice, does not bite, squeaks loudly when he needs something, and is extremely easy to take care of. He can be left alone for a long period of time since he just needs a full bottle of water and hay pellets.

We do expect Truffles back at the end of our assignment if he is still with us. I do not want to give him to a shelter which is my other option at this point. Thanks for helping us out- please pass along to anyone who might be able to give Truffles a good home. Thanks!

Ouiser

So – if a good friend offered you a “Truffles”, would you take it? I was at first horrified that I was not considered on the original e-mail list. I was then horrified to find out that no one on the original list (20 families in all) had taken Truffles.

Of course I would take Truffles! I would take Truffles because he needed a home. I would take Truffles because I had read “Dinner at the Panda Palace” to my kids dozens of times and here I was faced with the same dilemma as the owner of Panda Palace! His response whenever another guest arrived at his crowded restaurant was always the same:

“No matter how many,

No matter how few,

There will always be room

At the Palace for you!”

I would take Truffles because Ouiser made us laugh, and Offspring #2, her daughter, was one of Cutie’s best friends. And her son Offspring #1 ran cross-country for me in Middle School and her husband Spouse took great photos of Cutie during track.  I would take Truffles because my daughter Precocious wants to be a vet and she needs to see all kinds of animals. Not just our dog and cat.

Of course I would take Truffles – but it is not because I had any desire to own a caged pet – much less a guinea pig! Think of the connotation of a guinea pig – an animal used for scientific testing –and now a commonly used word in English language to connote such abuse!

Well – of course – if I am writing about Truffles – I am so happy that we took him. He does squeak – just like Ouiser said. He loves me the most because I give him the most treats. When I walk by the cage – old squeaky lets me know it is time for a treat.

I even love Truffles when I am traumatized – trying to clip his nails  – which is something Ouiser did not mention.

Anyway – when someone asks you if you could help them out – either with just a small favor or something bigger – think about saying yes. In this season of giving – it is always worth remembering that giving of yourself is still the greatest gift of all, and who knows, – you may even end up with some sweet Truffles.